Zero Resolutions

Because I can't take the pressure. And I refuse to resolve to eat healthier, exercise more, spend less time daydreaming, be more disciplined, etc.

But I could make myself some goals for 2011.
Like:
1. Sing in the grocery store more often. And louder.
2. Talk to strangers. Even if they don't appear interested.
3. Buy more glitter glue. It's glue, and it glitters!
4. Paint pictures that nobody will want to buy or hang on their walls.
5. Go to a movie by myself. Talk to myself during the movie. And shush myself.
6. Laugh more. Nap with the cat more.
7. Wear my favorite sweater daily. Even if it doesn't smell very nice.

8. Have a cup of hot chocolate at least once a week. Don't spare the whipped cream.
9. Wear all my necklaces at once. Put on too much perfume and dance.
10. Play with my daughter, rolling in the grass and/or snow. Don't think about laundry.
11. Bonus goal: find an agent who appreciates me, whom I will appreciate. Work together to get one of my amazing stories published. Let 2011 be a fabulous year.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Why How The Grinch Stole Christmas! Should Never Have Been Published

AN ADULT PROTAGONIST
Kids like to read about kids. Cindy-Lou Who, the only child mentioned, is never truly developed as a character. Has she learned anything by the end of the story? Where is her arc?

SLOPPY USE OF LANGUAGE
Chimbley? I mean, really!
Besides, does anyone use the word nimbly? Certainly not any members of the target audience!

A SCARY SANTA CLAUS
Children need to trust that the fat man breaking into their house on Christmas Eve is completely harmless.

MEDICALLY INACCURATE
Hearts cannot grow three sizes in one day. Did he do any research for this book?

Clearly, How The Grinch Stole Christmas! never should have been published.

But aren't we glad it was?

Thank you, Dr. Seuss. And Merry Christmas, everyone. Enjoy your roast beast!

Very Belated NaNoWriMo Report

Yes, I did NaNoWriMo this year.
No, I didn't NaNoWriMo.
Why am I being so self-contradictory?
Let me explain.
I did sign up for NaNoWriMo.
I did not write every single day (who wrote on Thanksgiving? Show of hands?)
I did write as often as I could.
I did upload a photo and record my word count.
I did not chat or forum.
I did attend one 'write-in.'
I did not write 50,000 words.
I did not write 40,000 words.
I did write 20,000 words.
So why do I feel so wimpy?
20,000 words is pretty good.
It is not the NaNoIdeal.
It is not enough to get the NaNo Medal of Honor, or whatever it is.
And I don't want to compare myself to friends with full-time jobs whose houses are cleaner than mine who DID write 50,000 words.
Before the deadline.
I really don't.
I do have a first (very short) manuscript I'm excited about.
I am thinking of it (as, I believe, John Green suggested) as a long outline of my novel.
I have barely worked on it since November.
I am consumed with holiday madness (but only in my dreams.)
I will finish this novel (I hope)
I did enjoy the challenge, even if I failed :(
I will miss saying NaNoWriMo.
I did just complete this self-portrait, showing how I feel
about not finishing NaNoWriMo (ambivalent?)
NaNoWriMo!
How are you feeling?