Why I Love Mermaids

I love the ocean. I grew up on Long Island and going to the beach has always been my favorite thing to do. Jones Beach, Brighton Beach, Coney Island and all the lovely (cold) beaches in San Francisco. I miss the ocean, now that we live in the mountains in Asheville.

Maybe I was a mermaid in a former life. Communing with the dolphins. Wearing a shell and seaweed bra. Shooting through the waves like a non-human cannonball.

When I was little, I had a book of The Little Mermaid with one of those covers where the mermaid changed as you tilted the book one way, then the other, then the other way, then back again. Which I spent alot of time in a mermaid-induced hypnotic trance doing. Plus it had ridges to run your fingers over.

So now I've written a tween novel about a girl who becomes a mermaid against her will. My character is her own person. What? Of course, she's not me. I was never a mermaid. Not in this life, anyway.

A friend asked me which Disney princess I wanted to be when I was little. Why do I hardly remember any of those movies (and why don't any of those princesses have noses?) Maybe because we hardly ever went to the movies (too expensive) We went to the beach (free) Hooray for my childhood!

And, of course, The Little Disney Mermaid came out when I was all grown up. And even now, I don't want to be her. I want to be Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid, beautiful and tragic and turned to sea foam in the end.

So what kind of princess are you?

Some Things Are Too Hard to Blog About

Mother's Day is a difficult day for so many people. My mother died in 2001. Losing your mother is the world falling away from under your feet. I was 38 when she died, but I was also a child. Because it doesn't matter how old you are, we all need our moms.

This is a print I did several years ago of my sister-in-law, Jehan, and her baby Serena. It is so solemn, which was not my intention. But it suits this post. Because the mother-daughter connection isn't all sweetness and light. But boy is it intense.

The best thing that happened to me this past Mother's Day is a book from my daughter with art and poems. They've been studying acrostic poems in school and this is the one she did for me on LOVE:

Love

On

Vegetable

Eating

That's right.

Thanks, Madeline. For giving me happiness on mother's day.

Self-Portrait As A New Mom

How dishevelled I look! How worn out! Almost fading away, like the wicked witch at the end of the W of Oz. This drawing is dated April 2004. Madeline was one year and two months old.

When I was pregnant, so many parents said, "You'll never sleep again." Of course I thought they were exaggerating. Well, my daughter is now seven and she still often wakes me up at 6:25 with a loud, "There were aliens in my dream, mom!"
At least she's no longer nursing. And she's almost sleeping through the night.

I miss sleeping until 9 or even later sometimes. Such a foggy happy memory from the distant past.

So should I look forward to the teenage years when she'll sleep more? Or will I be lying in bed awake with other worries?

Parenting is quite an adventure, isn't it? What are you struggling with? How do you express your creativity around those issues?

My Little Butterfly

Here's a drawing I just did of Madeline in our hammock. But now I think it looks more like she's in a cocoon. And she is becoming a butterfly, so that's right.

She used to be just a baby. See? She couldn't walk, run, or play soccer at all. That was only seven years ago. Just a little sigh of time.

Now she sits in the hammock reading on her own! And plays soccer with her dad. Rides her bike around the neighborhood. Tells me what's what.

There's a beautiful song by Sweet Honey In the Rock

Your children are not your children

they are the sons and the daughters of life's longing for itself

they come through you but they are not from you

and though they are with you

they belong not to you...

She belongs to herself. And she's stretching her wings and will be stretching them for years to come. Preparing to fly. I hope I can be there for her in any way that helps. But in so many ways she's got to learn to fly on her own.

How do you see your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews? How can we be there for them without getting in the way on their road to becoming butterflies?

The Rabbit Is Back

You may already know that I didn't do this wonderful painting. No, this one is by Albrecht Durer. Why do I love this painting? Is it because of the amazing attention to detail? This rabbit (or Young Hare) is as dignified as a king, as serious as the Pope.

And now it's illustrating my blog! to say The Rabbit Is Back. The one who scurries and scampers and munches grass in the yard outside my dining room window. We breakfasted (?) together this morning. Yesterday I watched him (or her) being chased by a cat. The rabbit was faster, of course.

Not that I never saw these kind of backyard animal shows in Brooklyn. I once saw my cat fighting a praying mantis, which definitely goes on my list of Strangest Sights Ere I Have Witnessed.

I stepped outside early this morning and so many birds were busy doing their bird-things. Mockingbirds, robins, sparrows, mourning doves.
Another post about spring. I can't help it, I'm so happy that terrible winter is over.
I bet you are too!

April is the Coolest Month!

That's what all the birds are saying. Hear them? They're right out my window, loving April.

Everything's budding. Our little lilac bush, that refused to flower for two years, decided her time has come. Hooray for lilacs! Forsythia, tulips, daffodils, the dogwood tree...

And soon the day lilies. And lots of other beauties.

So why did Mr. Eliot say it's the cruelest month? Because love is in the air? Because April makes you feel like everything is possible, everything is new, and then later on we still have to face December? Maybe your heart gets broken and your dreams don't soar quite as high as you hoped?

You know what I say?
I DON'T CARE!
It's spring and anything can happen. Life is new. My lilac bush is blossoming.

How does spring make you feel?

Do you find it very cruel?

Maybe you should go outside and smell the flowers.
Happy spring, everyone!

More Molly

http://www.sportsmansparadiseonline.com/Live_Owl_Nest_Box_Cam.html

I'm not kidding. You have got to check out this owl with her four owlets. Momma Owl is so exhausted, she's falling asleep on one foot. I remember those days!
And her babies look extremely un-owlish, to me. More like baby vultures. Then again Madeline looked like a gummy bear when she was a newborn. But cute!

And look how well she draws now. I think her owl looks so wise, don't you?

I'm learning alot from my daughter!